Embrace Your Pain and Be Blessed! (Part 1)

William Gaultiere, Ph.D.
Executive Director of New Hope Crisis Counseling, Crystal Cathedral
Clinical Psychologist & Spiritual Director, ChristianSoulCare.com

"Rejoice in your trials!" we're told again and again in the Bible. Oh, but it's so hard! How? Why? A little boy named Jamie gives us a clue. He tried out for a part in his school play. He practiced, gave his all in the audition, and prayed. His heart was set on getting a part! Finally the list was posted. Jamie didn't get a part. He pressed his lips together and dropped his head in disappointment. But suddenly his head popped up again, his eyes brightened, and he rushed to his mother and exclaimed, "Guess what Mom? I've been chosen to clap and cheer!"

More than just a cute story, Jamie shows us how to find and act on the good in the midst of a painful situation. The Bible is full of real life stories of God's people responding to pain by deepening their trust in God and growing spiritually. One of my favorites is the story of Jacob.

JACOB WRESTELED WITH GOD IN HIS PAIN
Imagine being Jacob. Your brother Esau wants to kill you because you tricked him out of his inheritance. Esau's a big, burly hunter accompanied by an army of 400 bandits and you're a slender, soft man who likes to play with animals and talk to the women. You're walking through the desert with your wife, children, servants, animals, and all your possessions. Mile after mile you walk, knowing that he's coming after you.

That night to sleep you go out alone away from the noise and stench of the animals and away from the safety of your caravan. You're alone to pray and to sleep under the stars. Then in the middle of the night someone accosts you! He's fighting you! Surely, it's Esau come to murder you! What do you do? Scream for help! Plead for mercy! Better yet, you run! No. You realize it's an angel and you wrestle him. Yes, you fight an angel! And the angel wrenches your hip. You scream out in pain. He tries to get away, but you won't let him go! You keep wrestling him until daybreak!

What's going on? Is Jacob crazy? He's scared to death. He's in pain. He's getting beat up by an awesome and imposing creature from another world (Angels are not cute, chubby cherubs floating on clouds as they softly sing sweet songs; they are glorious and powerful creatures, warriors as well as ministers, that people are always afraid of at first.), but he keeps fighting! He wants to know the angel's name and he won't let go until he's blessed. Finally, the angel gives in and the wrestling match ends with Jacob being given a new name. No longer is he Jacob, "The Cheater," but now he is Israel, "The Overcomer," because he has struggled with God and prevailed.

Jacob is never told the angel's name, but he is blessed by God and so he names the place of his divine encounter Peniel, "The Face of God." In his painful trial when he was so scared of his brother's revenge he pleaded for God's favor and protection, he clung to God's promise to his father Abraham and to him to bless their family line. The angel wounded him in the wrestling match, but even with his heart crying out in fear and his hip screaming out in pain Jacob wouldn't let go of the angel until he had the blessing of seeing God's face and receiving his new name from God.

The rest of his life he'd walk with a limp… and a smile.

LEARN THE MEANING OF YOUR PAIN
As a Psychologist I continually encounter pain. Everyday people talk to me about their pains. Besides that, like you, I have my own pains and that of my family and loved ones to deal with. And as a Christian who reads the Bible everyday I think about pain a lot.

The Bible has so much to teach us about pain, so much that is hard to understand and even harder to bear. How do we rejoice in trials? (James 1:2-4). How do we experience peace in trouble? (John 16:33). What's the blessing of being sad? (Matthew 5:4). Why does it seem that God is distant when we hurt the most? (Psalm 13:1). We have so many questions because we experience so much pain that we can't get free of.

Like Jacob, we need to understand the source of our suffering before we can know how to experience the blessing that God can give us in the midst of our pain. It made a big difference whether Jacob's painful wrestling match was Esau seeking murderous revenge, God punishing him for some sin in his life, or a trial that God was using to grow his faith. Since Adam and Even sinned and were kicked out of the Garden of Eden all people, all of creation even, has been subjected to the pain of being separated from God and the frustration of yearning for a reconciliation with God that we cannot effect ourselves. Only God can re-connect us with Him so that we enjoy his love and live the glorious life He created us for (Romans 8:20-22).

More specifically, I believe that there are four reasons for pain, four different types of pain that we experience in life outside the Garden of Eden that we were made for. As I'll explain later, understanding the reason for the pain you're in is crucial because it changes how to best respond.

(Continued in part 2)